Mar 27th, 2025 Thursday Cloudy
In middle school, I had a discussion with my best friend back then. I cannot remember what prompted the topic – we were in a phase of starting to reflect more deeply about life, and we were excited to discover (or at least we thought so) truth that adults must know well yet somehow choose to ignore.
“It appears that almost everything changes with time. Is time a good thing?” asked her.
I pondered on this question for a while. To be sure, with the passage of time, youths fade, blossoming flowers wilt, happy moments disappear; meanwhile, budding talents grow, skills mature, and sad memories become mellowed. The metamorphosis goes both ways.
After a long pause, I said, “ultimately I think time is a good thing, because – it is a test stone for the true value of something. Whatever is long-lasting is probably more valuable, and more significant.”
She nodded in agreement, and answered, “exactly. Like our friendship.” We smiled and held hands.
It turned out, that friendship ended as soon as we graduated and parted ways. I tried to keep in contact, and even attempted to arrange a reunion, to no avail. The day I came to full realization with this fact, after my numerous messages to accommodate her for a time and place to meet that only received indifferent replies, I cried.
Then I let it go. The thought that we used to be as close as shadows is left in the past, and I live in today.
Perhaps as we age, we come to learn that many fleeting things are not that important. It is not that we do not want to retain them – they are not worth of retaining to begin with.
Take friends as an example. Real friendship not only takes careful cultivating and constant nurturing, but also requires mutual sincerity and reciprocation. In modern life, all of these efforts add a demand to our busy days, a price that many decide not to pay once the perceived benefits – to themselves – are no longer appealing. This is how we all witness or experience superficial, or convenient “friendship” – someone to temporarily be our company when the situation is suitable, though not dependable during difficult days. However, if you look around, and there are people who have been with you for more than a decade, with whom you share the sunshine and the rain, and you support each other through valleys of life without judgment, then – congratulations, these are the friends deserving your heartfelt care and respect.
Similarly, I believe only relationship, or love, that really stands the trial of time is meaningful and golden. If your notion of an ideal partner is just made up of images of a romantic dinner, or a period of courtship that shines like a dream, you are set up for disappointment. Because those stages, however long they may be, can be arranged, and anyone with sufficient preparation can do it. How you are treated afterwards, in the many months or years that follow, is what defines the quality of your love.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 5000th dating memorial day. A simple elegant meal at a restaurant that we had not visited, a stimulating and cordial conversation, and a few hugs. I am proud of the beautiful connection that we have built together.
Distance tests the stamina of a horse, and time reveals the nature of a person.