Mar 26th, 2024 Tuesday Rainy
I recently met with a student who expressed interest to teach for me over the summer. He reached out a couple months ago as he learned about the potential opportunity from the student working for me last summer. Over the email exchange he seemed well-qualified, serious and easy-going. We set up the time to have a conversation in my office.
He showed up on time, and we had a brief introduction. I asked him about his recent trekking across the country (conferences and graduate school visits), then we chatted about the position he might be interested in. This “interview” went smoothly, yet I decided to let another staff make the decision about hiring him – not that I do not think highly of him, as his academic records clearly show that he is very competent. It is just that I did not sense the personality match with him – something in his manners must have rubbed me the wrong way. He did not SAY anything wrong, but he failed to make me look forward to working with him.
In other words, we did not “click”.
Some people turn their nose up at this notion of “mysterious connections” between people. They attribute it to bias, and they insist we should not trust any of these gut feelings. However, humans are not perfectly rational creatures, and I have experienced again and again the unexplainable (at least at the time) attraction towards (or repulsion against) someone that I saw for the first time. It was usually months later that I found a possible reason for it.
About an year ago I conducted an interview with another student. He appeared fully dressed up (in suits), and he spoke slowly and gently. Even though he seemed not confident enough to take on a teaching role, I did like him so I extended an offer. Six months later, while talking about random things, he let out that his major hobby is board gaming, and he is particularly fond of puzzle-solving games, same as me. This came as an “a-ha” moment, that perhaps something about liking a certain kind of games made us compatible.
Another student who submitted his application way past the deadline, emailed me to ask for consideration. I normally do not allow exceptions to the hiring process, but I was impressed with his style of communication and credentials, so I gave him a chance. His open demeanor and sincerity recommended him well, and he was immediately hired despite not being able to start one semester later. A few weeks after he began working, I overheard that he has been playing the piano since childhood, and he really appreciates classical music, a relatively rare case among college students nowadays. I could not help but be amazed by how this happened, as nothing about music was brought up during our less-than-thirty-minute interview.
There has to be magnetic fields between people.
No two humans are created alike. We all grow up with varying inclinations, having lived in different environments, and walked on distinct paths. Our past has blessed us with our unique “scents” that identify who we are, so we are naturally drawn to some people and feel uncomfortable around some others, just like animals. This is intriguing, and I am not concerned about it at all.
These mysterious connections, like an instinct, guide us through the vast space of interpersonal world, and help us find home.