Fate

Jul 27th, 2023 Thursday Sunny and humid

Do you believe that there is fate between people?

This idea of “fate”, or in Buddhist cultures, “yuan”, is often used to interpret the seemingly mysterious connections between people. How did two complete strangers, coming from cities thousands of miles away, end up meeting each other, falling in love, and tying the knot some day? It is as if an invisible thread is linking the two and pulling them into the same castle. Pure magic.

While fate is usually mentioned in the context of romantic relationship, all kinds of interpersonal relationships can be attributed to it. At least it can be a plausible (or lazy?) explanation.

One such instance just happened to me this year. In January, I was desperately in search of a student instructor for a class that I manage (the person who was supposed to teach it backed out in the LAST minute, leaving a full class of enrolled students). The class would start in five days, so there was not enough time to recruit or train someone new. I reached out to one of the student tutors who have tutored this course for two years. Unfortunately and understandably, she already had her semester’s schedule planned out, so she said no.

I was lucky that another student agreed to take over the course. Crisis reversed.

At the end of May, she emailed me to ask about potential opportunities to teach for me, for the fall semester. At that point, I finished interviewing and filling all the teaching positions for the fall, with no more opening for her. I felt sorry, but I had to let her go, hoping that she would be able to find additional employment somewhere else.

This week, I was told that I need to open one more section of class, and this girl would be the perfect candidate to teach it. Excited that stars would line up this time, I quickly messaged her. Guess what? She already secured an internship for the fall and would have no time for this commitment.

We brushed shoulders three times, yet we never crossed paths. I guess there is no “yuan” between us ?‍?

Is fate real? I do not know, nor do I care. I do believe it, because I think it is one way for humans to make meaning out of the occurrences in the world, most of them out of our control. Believing in fate does not mean letting go of my autonomy and taking a deterministic view. Rather, it is an approach to be at peace with life.

When we were little, we might envy the adults since they are the ones making decisions, they have the resources to do whatever they want (it appears) and we have to obey them. And we make these wishes that one day, when we grow up, we are going to “travel around the world”, or “party every night”, or “meet all the cool people”. However, as adults, there are many obligations and strings in life that we need to attend to. For the most part, we are settled in one city, with full-time jobs, meeting the same people and following similar routines every day. While in theory we CAN give up everything to pursue a childhood dream, we all know that in reality it is very irresponsible to do so. As such, we have limited power to push things in our favor. We do what we can, and accept whatever outcome we may face.

Sometimes things miraculously work out. Sometimes they do not. Maybe this is fate?

Fate teaches me to cherish the people I have around me. Fate has brought us together, in the same place, at the same time, that our lives overlap. Among them are some really marvelous folks – isn’t it wonderful?

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