May 14th, 2023 Sunday Rainy
Have you ever watched the anime movie “inside out”?
It talked about emotions, the drama and pain of adjusting to new environment, in a funny yet relatable way. It tapped onto the complexities of human emotions, especially the multi-faceted emotions that people experience increasingly often as they leave the innocence of childhood. It was a very well-made movie that adults and children can both enjoy.
In one of the scenes, the emotion joy was examining a memory that she was “in charge of” (the memory ball was colored golden yellow, the color associated with joy), only to find that the back side of the same memory was actually blue, the color associated with sadness – the “unwanted” emotion. This realization became the turning point of the conflict, and eventually helped the little girl to grow up.
This mixed emotion experience, e.g. feeling both happy and sad at the same time, is very common in daily life. What the movie failed to capture, given the intricacy of this experience, is the link between being happy at this moment and being sad (inevitably) later.
I lived through this in my current job, in which I work very closely with some of the most talented, energetic, and hard-working students. Over the last academic year, I got to know them really well, and I see them partly as my friends, partly as my kids 😛 I enjoyed having meetings with them – unlike the boring work meetings that many workplaces hold, these meetings are efficient (all agenda items get accomplished on time), lively with laughter, and generally relaxed. I listen to the fun occurrences in their lives, and joke about their quirks and amusing tastes. Even though most work days were packed, I found myself returning home with a big grin.
Of course, at the end of the year (the academic year here usually ends in May), quite a few of them graduated, and here came the hard moment of saying goodbye.
Being some of the best college graduates in the country, these students all have a bright future ahead of them: either prestigious graduate programs with scholarship, or full-time job offers with decent salary and benefit packages. Graduation is the time of celebrating past accomplishment and dreaming of all the adventure on the horizon. Excitement is in the air.
For me, however, this means that in a week, the faces that I am used to and looking forward to seeing weekly (sometimes almost daily) will no longer be here. I will miss them dearly, as the office would certainly feel different without the same people.
If I had not been so attached to and so fond of these cool undergrads, it would have been easier to perform the farewell. Without the joy of getting together, there would be no pain of sending them off.
Nevertheless, the reverse is also true – if I try to avoid the ordeal of leaving them by not truly opening my heart and savoring the time I got to spend with them, I would have missed the most rewarding part of my job – the chance of bonding with young fellows and watching them flourish.
So I choose to embrace it all, even if it fills my eyes with tears every now and then. I will learn to say goodbye with a smile, and save up the beautiful memories as nutrients in my own life.