Feb 13th, 2026 Friday Sunny
It is almost Valentine’s day. Again.
I understand it is a heavily commercialized “holiday”, and it has been very successful, though I believe part of its popularity has to be attributed to the irresistible chocolate itself – not that savoring chocolates is forbidden beyond Valentine’s day, yet gifting (and savoring of course) chocolates is absolutely justified on this day.
Nevertheless, celebrating Feb 14th as a couple married for years has its own challenges. Neither of us is fond of repeating the same ritual year after year, so we always try to come up with something new. I would say the list of ideas starts to run out after you have been dating for more than three years 😛
Fortunately, I hold the easy card. It has been my “tradition” to make a chocolate – featuring dessert, sometimes with a little extra, for my husband. This is not too bad because, in theory, there are countless chocolate desserts from cuisines all over the world. I have attempted truffles (with varying success), ferreros, heart-shaped pastry, and chocolate – covered cherries. This time I am going simple – hazelnut mocha brownies that in case of lukewarm reception would be happily munched down by myself 😀
I also prepared some presents – a couple of new sweaters that took tremendous effort to hunt down (hence less work on the tidbits). When I finally found them, I felt a huge relief as my “quota” has been met.
My husband, on the other hand, might be secretly stressed. While he usually takes me out for a nice dinner, the options have dwindled. The number of restaurants worth trying in this town, not a lot to begin with, has been decreasing over years, both because of closing down and because we have already visited and see no reason to return for some time.
“Where is that perfect dining place that I can enjoy a romantic dinner with my sweet wife, AND it is novel, interesting, not unreasonably expensive, SO AS TO show that I love her?” is probably what is on his mind.
Every time I see him troubled about this, I shake my head and sigh, “men are so weird.”
Do not get me wrong – I would never refuse any excuse to be treated to tasty food. However, even the most elaborate, extravagant meal would not win my affection if it comes from the wrong person.
If a man neglects me or takes me for granted for three-hundred-sixty-four days, and suddenly becomes a gentleman for a short period, I know that is for show. If he says “I love you” with a ten-karat diamond, I know such “love” is meaningless.
The real gestures of love occur in small moments – not necessarily framed and put on pedestal, but warm my heart nonetheless.
Like a big hug when I feel down. Like listening to me with patience and sympathy when I need to vent or grieve. Like after a long day, getting my bed ready before brushing his own teeth. Like offering to cook a hearty dinner (e.g. this turnip bisque) when I come home exhausted.
In terms of gestures of love, a Valentine’s surprise is nothing but icing on the cake. I certainly do not eat the cake for the icing.