Jan 17th, 2022 Monday Sunny
Over the weekend, my husband and I finished watching a Chinese TV drama called “put your head on my shoulder”, which received stellar reviews for its sweet story, cute and likable characters, unassuming performance of lead actors and actresses, and a light-hearted atmosphere throughout. The main couple, Mo Mo and Weiyi Gu (we call him “Gu boy”), showed us how a first-love like relationship budded and grew into a happy ending (they were married and had a son at the end). It was a relaxing show to watch.
While I can see, together with many reviewers, why the show is described as healing – after all, few love stories in real life unfold like that between Mo Mo and Gu boy. So few, that I personally cannot name one. Depending on your perspective, that can be depressing instead of healing, because “this is how relationships are supposed to be like” stays in stark contrast with “this is how relationships usually go in real life”. Despite this gap, the plots are still very relatable (the scene that Gu boy, a physics genius student, chose to write a love letter in physics jargons, reminded me of the many major-specific love letters widespread in my college 😛 ). Part of me feels that the popularity of this show might be its believability, that however rare a crush like that between Mo Mo and Gu boy could be in reality, it is in theory possible, so we can dream.
Or maybe it is not just a dream?
I think there are two blessings that Mo Mo and Gu boy enjoy that are essential to their healthy relationship, two blessings that make this dream come true.
One is that, even though Gu boy is a very talented physics student (plus tall and handsome) and Mo Mo is just a regular college student interested in advertising (and Doraemon), they treat each other as equals. In Chinese opinions, especially the opinions of Chinese parents, a Gu boy like man is the prince that every girl would want, which usually makes them proud, picky, snobby, or all of the above. Typically they either would not take relationship seriously or they would not want to settle easily. Gu boy is nothing like that. He thinks of Mo Mo as someone worth his time and attention, and he wants to do everything he can for her. He does not talk down to Mo Mo – even his talking about “hard subject” is more like showing off rather than forcing Mo Mo to accept his view in a condescending way. Mo Mo is a sweet girl, but she is not particularly smart, and most of the time when Gu boy talked about any “hard subject” she could not understand (of course there was no way she could decipher Gu boy’s love letter…). Nevertheless, she is confident that she is valuable, that just because Gu boy is super intelligent does not and should not make him superior to herself. She does not treat Gu boy as an idol, or a prince/king. Instead, she has her own career interest that does not center around Gu boy. Because both Mo Mo and Gu boy think of each other as equals, partners that can share a life together, their relationship remains pure.
The other blessing that really surprises me is the lack of common interest between Mo Mo and Gu boy. Other than watching horror movies and listening to crosstalk shows, they do not seem to do anything else together (that is not chores like grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking). Miraculously, that does not seem to bother them at all. Looking at the relationships of their parents, I think I may have found the answer: both Mo Mo’s parents and Gu boy’s parents also interact in a similar way – they have dinner together, but otherwise they have little overlap in interests and hobbies. Yet both marriages of their parents are stable. Maybe that set the expectation “this is what marriages are like”. I guess it could work as long as they have similar expectations of relationships.
Still, to nurture a long relationship/marriage (beyond the short few months in the show), I think sharing fun activities together is very important. The fun times shared together create memories and bond the life of two complete strangers together. Even chores can become fun when you make it a fun project and do it together, like the making of these red-bean filled mochi pancakes 🙂 We had them for dinner last night – yummy!